COVID0-19 - Feel the fear, walk your values

Scary times call for some focusing on what matters & perhaps some clear guidance on steps ahead… have a look, slow down, get physically separate and put one foot in front of the other. Your feelings are real, tune in; your brain’s automatic problem solving (& crisis behavior) is on overdrive. Step up & get clear on your heart’s callings; it’s where wisdom lies. Here are some resources that may help. The “Coping List” has 27 items/ideas on it!

WHO has made an illustrated ACT guide with accompanying audio - check it out

Steve Hayes’ Ordinary Hero blog - the “what” to do

Russ Harris’ FACE COVID guide - the “how” to do it

Eileen M Feliciano, Psy.D. Coping List - a list of things to do while you sit out the pandemic - to get your imagination going

& clear & concise advice from an ER doc in NY if you actually have COVID

stay safe & stay e-connected…. we still need each other

peace

levels of feeling & Emotional Agility

Some feelings are reactive…. others are valuable messages in a bottle. Learning how to have them isn’t always so obvious, so here’s a little help from a colleague, Dr. Victoria Lemle Beckener who translated what the science tells us into a workable skills: How to feel our feelings

& to piggy back on the above…I have often thought that the role of emotions as "data" was under-emphasized and that we have them as feedback loops that orient us to what really matters.... apparently, I'm not alone.

Check out Sue David's TED talk.... so glad to have a woman role-model to emphasize this!

On Emotions

Most people have emotions but are not always aware of their antecedents, action urges and intricacies. Paul Ekman, Ph.D. who is internationally known for his work on emotions provides a wonderful atlas that can help map their nuances. Have a look and see what you discover about yourself.

Ekman's Atlas of Emotions

 

Experiential Exercises

Experiential exercises are usually imaginary road-maps so to speak; they take your through certain steps, include mindful attention to your own reactions and prompt you to show up to those reactions in a particular way..... these are the bread & butter of what makes ACT ACT...

Like with recommended readings, please be aware that while these are available on the net, they are not a substitute for therapy. I would also not recommend binging on them like a Netflix sequel - often times one needs to sit with and let whatever comes of these stew, so to speak. If this happens inside of the therapy room with a trusted guide, then that's probably even more powerful.

Having said that, here are some that may work for you .....

ACT exercises

Recommended books for clients

I often get asked what my favorite books are in the area... so here are some of the books that I recommend to my clients - mostly self-help

On the romantic relationship side... when you are ready & interested in making a few improvements because, well, we all know we can... I've found the following quite helpful:

  • Gottman et al are the people to turn to in the area... "What makes love last" was a good one

  • I also really enjoyed Gary Chapman's "5 languages of love" which was a good reminder that we express our care differently & if we can hear that, much conflict would go away....

  • For those less fortunate, Alan Fruzzeti's "High Conflict couple" is also a good place to start learning how to be in a different way....

Now given that I am a therapist & I'm well informed on the outcomes of self-help books (small, small outcomes, if that), I feel compelled to tell you that reading a self-help book (especially if you don't go through it meticulously) will not change your life - I have posted these because clients have often found them helpful adjuncts to therapy and people are generally curious to get additional resources that helps provide some continuity between sessions.... hope this is the case here too.

Resources for Clinicians/Educators

Here is a semi-succinct list of the books that I found helpful throughout the years....

back to ACT - Intro-ish

More advanced books

  • Catania's "learning" is a classic for behaviorists
  • Pepper's World Hypotheses (or at least the article on them) will get your brain juices going
  • Radical behaviorism provides some original papers & historical account
  • Rule governed behavior has been a staple in my library for years
  • & of course Skinner.... you pick - his writings will shift brains to a functional contextual perspective

Off the beaten path